Cancer is a dog from hell: the dark side

Disclaimer: I occasionally use a word or two that you can't say on television. George Carlin would be proud. If these words bother you, you may not want to read my blog. You've been warned. Now, let's get real.

I am ebbing and flowing, feeling the fear that comes with cancer, even when the disease is not your own. I am afraid that this week’s results will not be positive for Curtis; I am hurt by a another’s inability to have compassion for my (our) situation, and worried that I’m just not strong enough to survive all this. I realize this is selfish. After all, I’m not the person who has cancer… I wish I could say this has not taken a terrible toll on me, but it has.

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This is a re-post of my Facebook note from July 6, 2009:

We go back to Dallas this Friday (July 10) for a PET scan & doctor's visit. We hope and expect that to go well. Just before we left to come home last time, the doc "casually" mentioned radiation. Ugh, we were expecting that if he is all clear now, that this would be the last treatment. So we may be going to Abilene daily after this visit. Usually radiation lasts from 2-6 weeks with Mon-Fri daily treatments. Phew! That's a lot of driving an hour each way. Of course you can tell I am a little deflated at this prospect, but ultimately I will do everything I can for Curtis to get better!!


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