Mixed blessings are still blessings

It is a strange feeling: this thing that has dominated every moment of my life for a year now is gone. Um, now what do I do? I have not allowed myself to think of this point for fear it would not come. The wonderful news (Curtis is in remission) is tempered by the fact that he will still undergo radiation treatment to reduce the chance of recurrence of the lymphoma. The radiation contributes to the feeling of unease, as though it's not really time to celebrate until that is over too.

I think it is time to go back to work. We desperately need income and he will only be getting better from here on. I'm thinking about just getting something part-time and simple. I'm also considering becoming a distributor for a jewelry company that I love-doing home shows & catalog sales. I'm not sure which will be better for me, but I will meditate and think it over for the next week or so.

A new class starts tomorrow in my master's degree program. That feels good, another beginning. Starting new things makes it feel like spring. However, the 103° temp helps me remember that it is most certainly summertime!

I feel blessed, albeit mixed with some apprehension, definitely blessed. I want to jump for joy and celebrate, but something holds me back. Have I uncovered the things that create that or is it something else? Seeking that answer and enjoying this new phase will be my mental work for the near future.

Thank you all my loving friends and family for the support and kindness you have shown to me and my family over the last year!